Dear Utah Governor Cox: I Have Questions About “Disagreeing Better”*
My overarching question is this: With a president who prohibits disagreement with him and his authoritarian agenda altogether — viz., by protesters, academic institutions, law firms, media companies — how do people go about “disagreeing better”?
I watched and listened carefully to your statement the morning after Mr. Kirk’s alleged assassin surrendered himself in St. George, Utah. After sharing details of the manhunt and arrest, of the likely weapon and ammunition used in the murder, and thanking people, you said you would “share a few more thoughts about where we are and how we got here and maybe a little bit of where we go from here.” I transcribed this part of your statement, relevant portions of which are quoted in the endnote below.[i]
You describe the “here” as a rage-filled political environment so polarized that people are abandoning discourse and dialogue and turning to violence. I appreciate the anger and sadness you feel as a friend and admirer of Mr. Kirk and as governor of the state where one of Utah’s home-grown — “one of us” — is alleged to have committed this atrocious act — and in the heart of Happy Valley. I applaud your encouragement of calm in its aftermath and offer of hope to the youth — that the country doesn’t have to be this way and reasonable alternatives to hostility and violence exist to solve our political differences. You picked — some might say cherry-picked — Mr. Kirk’s words to chart a path to resolving our differences through non-violent means: discourse, debate, dialogue. I leave it to others to characterize and eulogize Mr. Kirk.[ii]
Unfortunately, you failed to address in any meaningful way “how” it is the United States of America arrived here, which is fundamental to offering any solutions.
So my first question is, how did we get here.
Assuming you answer this question honestly, my next question is whether your speech has any meaning in addressing the problem of political violence — which is largely a symptom — in the face of your party’s leadership and the country’s president.
This is the person whose rhetoric has encouraged right-wing extremists and domestic terrorists to manifest themselves and increase in numbers since he descended the escalator in 2015, rhetoric clearly intended to radicalize.
This is the person who makes increasingly incendiary comments and normalizes and encourages violence.
This is the person who in the immediate aftermath of the assassination in Utah said, “we have to beat the hell” out of “radical left lunatics” and announced on Fox that he “couldn’t care less” about uniting the country and reducing political violence.
This is the person who falsely blames the “radical left” — and only the left — for the rise in political violence including the Kirk assassination that was allegedly perpetrated by someone who was groomed in Mormon, right-wing, and gun culture and whose extremism may be to the right of his alleged victim’s.[iii]
This is the person who claims the fourth estate is the enemy of the people and who attacks the media, academics, and individuals that challenge or disagree with him or his increasingly authoritarian narrative for doing exactly what you propose as the solution: exercising First Amendment rights.
Until leaders from his party such as you collectively muster the courage to vocally and forcefully condemn the president’s continuing and increasingly violent rhetoric and false accusations, to stop supporting his lies through affirmation, acquiescence, and silence, your words will have no influence.
Please disabuse yourself of any belief that polarization resulting in acts of violence in the United States, whether it be political, race-based, religious, or based in gender or sexual orientation, is remotely symmetrical. Every form of ideologically motivated violence — domestic terrorism and hate crimes — jumped significantly in 2015 after Mr. Trump entered the race to be the Republican nominee, and from his progressively violent rhetoric the trajectory is skyward, although it decreased during the Biden administration. The incidence of violence by the extreme or far right is orders of magnitude greater than by left of center.
Just before the last presidential election, The Atlantic published A Brief History of Trump’s Violent Remarks (Isabel Fattal and Stephanie Bai, October 31, 2024). It narrowed the list to 40 such remarks. I quote a few below:
“At a campaign event on October 31, Trump said of former U.S. Representative Liz Cheney, ‘She’s a radical war hawk. Let’s put her with a rifle standing there with nine barrels shooting at her, okay? Let’s see how she feels about it … when the guns are trained on her face.”
“I’d like to punch him in the face.” February 22, 2016, referring to a protester at a rally.
“They said to me, ‘What do you think of waterboarding?’ I said, ‘I think it’s great, but I don’t think we go far enough.’ It’s true, it’s true — right? We don’t go far enough. We don’t go far enough.” February 22, 2016.
“I think you’d have riots.” March 16, 2016, on what would happen if he was not nominated at the convention.
“You also had people that were very fine people on both sides.” August 15, 2017, characterizing Charlottesville.
“Any guy that can do a body slam, he is my guy!” October 18, 2018, referring to a representative who assaulted a reporter.
“I have the support of the police, the support of the military, the support of the Bikers for Trump — I have the tough people, but they don’t play tough until they go to a certain point, and then it would be very bad, very bad.” March 12, 2019.
“When the looting starts, the shooting starts.” May 29, 2020 during protests after George Floyd’s murder.
“Can’t you just shoot them? Just shoot them in the legs or something?” June 2020, relating to protesters outside the White House, according to Mark Esper.
“And I’ll tell you something — that’s the way it has to be. There has to be retribution when you have crime like this.” September 12, 2020, praising police for killing antifa supporter who was accused of killing a right-wing protester.
“Stand back and stand by.” September 29, 2020 referring to Proud Boys during presidential debate.
“I don’t fucking care that they have weapons. They’re not here to hurt me.” January 6, 2021.
“People are so angry at what is taking place. Whatever we can do to help, because the temperature has to be brought down in the country. If it isn’t, terrible things are going to happen.” August 15, 2022 referring to the search of Mar-a-Lago.
“You tell the reporter, ‘Who is it?’ And the reporter will either tell you or not. And if the reporter doesn’t want to tell you, it’s bye-bye, the reporter goes to jail. And when the reporter learns that he’s going to be married in two days to a certain prisoner that’s extremely strong, tough and mean, he will say, ‘You know’ … I think I’m going to give you the information.’” November 7, 2022 rally.
“I am your warrior. I am your justice. And for those who have been wronged and betrayed, I am your retribution.” March 4, 2023, CPAC.
“What kind of person can charge another person, in this case a former President of the United States, who got more votes than any sitting President in history, and leading candidate (by far!) for the Republican Party nomination, with a Crime, when it is known by all that NO Crime has been committed, & also known that potential death & destruction in such a false charge could be catastrophic for our Country?” March 25, 2023, post on Truth Social.
“2024 is the final battle. It’s going to be the big one. You put me back in the White House, their reign will be over and America will be a free nation once again.” March 25, 2023, rally in Waco.
“IF YOU GO AFTER ME, I’M COMING AFTER YOU!” August 4, 2023, Truth Social.
“This is an act so egregious that, in times gone by, the punishment would have been DEATH.” September 22, 2023, Truth Social, directed at Mark Milley, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
“We pledge to you that we will root out the Communists, Marxists, fascists, and the radical-left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country, that lie and steal and cheat on elections … The threat from outside forces is far less sinister, dangerous, and grave than the threat from within. Our threat is from within.” November 11, 2023, Veterans Day speech.
“They’re poisoning the blood of our country.” November 16, 2023, referring to illegal immigrants at New Hampshire rally.
“It’ll be bedlam in the country. It’s a very bad thing. It’s a very bad precedent. As we said, it’s the opening of a Pandora’s box.” January 9, 2024, to reporters after hearing on presidential immunity from prosecution for January 6, 2020.
“Free the January 6 Hostages being wrongfully imprisoned!” March 11, 2024, Truth Social.
“If I don’t get elected … it’s going to be a bloodbath for the country.” March 16, 2024, in speech to automakers in Ohio.
“Well, revenge does take time. I will say that. And sometimes revenge can be justified, Phil, I have to be honest.” June 6, 2024, to Dr. Phil.
“In Colorado, they’re so brazen, they’re taking over sections of the state. And you know, getting them out will be a bloody story. They should have never been allowed to come into our country. Nobody checked them.” September 7, 2024, referring to mass-deportation plans.
“If you had one really violent day … one rough hour — and I mean real rough — the word will get out, and it will end immediately.” September 29, 2024, referring to crime during a rally in Pennsylvania.
“I always say, we have two enemies … We have the outside enemy, and then we have the enemy from within, and the enemy from within, in my opinion, is more dangerous than China, Russia, and all these countries … We have some very bad people; we have some sick people, radical-left lunatics. And it should be very easily handled by, if necessary, by the National Guard — or, if really necessary, by the military.” October 13, 2024, Fox News.
“It is the enemy from within. And they’re very dangerous — they’re Marxists and Communists and fascists … They’re dangerous for our country. We have China, we have Russia, we have all these countries. If you have a smart president, they can all be handled. The more difficult are, you know, the Pelosis, these people, they’re so sick; they’re so evil.” October 15, 2024, Fox town hall.
Plus, the political violence and aftermath of Jan. 6, including his pardoning the violent offenders.
Governor Cox, during your statement you said:
“This is certainly about the tragic death, assassination of, political assassination of, Charlie Kirk, but it is also much bigger than an attack on an individual. It is an attack on the American experiment. It is an attack on our ideals. This cuts to the very foundation of who we are, of who we have been, and who we could be in better times.” (Emphasis added.)
You were describing the assassination, but your characterization is also an accurate description of Trump’s assassination of “the American experiment,” his “attack on our ideals” which “cuts to the very foundation of who we are, of who we have been, and who we could be in better times.”
You are a proponent of “disagreeing better.” My last question is this: as the country devolves into authoritarianism where people and institutions are under credible threat of retribution and retaliation from a president who enjoys complete immunity and has weaponized the justice department against them if they speak their minds in disagreement, whether better or not, what do you suggest?
*Robert Hodgson Van Wagoner, the talented fiction writer and novelist, is my brother. He deserves considerable credit for offering both substantive and technical suggestions to my blog. His second novel, The Contortionists, which Rob himself narrates for the audio version, is a psychological page-turner about a missing child in a predominantly Mormon community. It is a literary masterpiece.
[i] “I don’t want to get too preachy, but I think it’s important that we, with eyes wide open, understand what’s happening in our country today. . . .
“This is certainly about the tragic death, assassination of, political assassination of, Charlie Kirk, but it is also much bigger than an attack on an individual. It is an attack on the American experiment. It is an attack on our ideals. This cuts to the very foundation of who we are, of who we have been, and who we could be in better times.
“Political violence is different than any other type of violence. For lots of different reasons. One, because in the very act that Charlie championed of expression, that freedom of expression that is enshrined in our founding documents, in having his life taken, in that very act, makes it more difficult for people to feel like they can share their ideas, that they can speak freely. We will never be able to solve all the other problems, including the violence problems that people are worried about if we can’t have a clash of ideas safely and securely. Even, especially, those ideas with which you disagree. That’s why this matters so much.
“Over the last 48 hours, I have been as angry as I have ever been. As sad as I have ever been. And it was, as anger pushed me to the brink, it was actually Charlie’s words that pulled me back. I’d like to share some of those and specifically right now, if I could. I need to talk to the young people in our state, in my state. And all across the country. As President Trump reminded me, he said, you know who really loved Charlie? The youths. He’s right. Young people love Charlie. And young people hated Charlie. And Charlie went into those places anyway. And these are the words that have helped me.
“Charlie said, when people stop talking, that’s when you get violence. He said the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive. Welcome without judgment. Love without condition. Forgive without limit. He said always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much. . . .
“He again said, when you stop having a human connection with someone you disagree with, it becomes a lot easier to commit violence. He said that we as a culture have to get back to is being able to have a reasonable agreement, being able to have reasonable agreement where violence is not an option.
“To my young friends out there. You are inheriting a country where politics feels like rage. It feels like rage is the only option. But through those words we have a reminder that we can choose a different path. Your generation has an opportunity to build a culture that is very different than what we are suffering through right now. Not by pretending our differences don’t matter, but by embracing our differences and having those hard conversations. I think we need more moral clarity right now.
“I hear all the time that words are violence. Words are not violence. And there is one person responsible for what happened here, and that person is now in custody and will be charged soon. And will be held accountable. And yet, all of us have an opportunity to do something different. . . .
“And for 33 hours, I was praying that if this had to happen here, that it wouldn’t be one of us, that somebody drove from another state, somebody came from another country. Sadley, that prayer was not answered the way I hoped for. Just because I thought it would make it easier on us if we could just say we don’t do that here. . . .
“We can return violence with violence; we can return hate with hate. And that’s the problem with me with political violence is it metastasizes. Because we can always point the finger at the other side. And at some point, we have to find an off-ramp or it’s going to get much, much worse. But see, these are choices that we can make. History will dictate if this is a turning point for our country. But every single one of us gets to choose right now if this is a turning point for us. We get to make decisions. We have our agency. And I desperately call on every American Republican, Democrat, liberal, progressive, conservative, MAGA, all of us to please, please, follow what Charlie taught me. . . .”
Utah Governor Spencer Cox (YouTube, September 12, 2015) (emphasis added).
[ii] See, e.g., Charlie Kirk Didn’t Shy Away From Who He Was. We Shouldn’t Either (Jamelle Bouie, The New York Times, September 13, 2025).
[iii] See, e.g., The Machine That Spat Him Out (Frazer, Medium, September 13, 2025).