TRUMP ADDS SWEDEN TO ‘AXIS OF EVIL’: SCANDINAVIAN TIES TO RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISM AND IRANIAN NUCLEAR PROLIFERATION*
Waterfall [Vattenfall], Oil on Masonite, 48" x 26", 2010, Richard J Van Wagoner, Courtesy of Van Wagoner Family Trust**
Satire? You be the judge. If you don’t think something like this could happen under the Trump Administration (T & A), you haven’t been paying attention.
Seal Team 6 in Harm’s Way
The fake news over the Swedish Terror Attack is but one of a torrent of instances of the liberal Enemy-of-America media doing what it does best: disseminating false information to disrupt the smooth running “well-oiled, fine-tuned machine” that is T & A. The media heard and reported it backwards: it was not a terror attack in Sweden but, rather, an attack on terror in Sweden. After the debacle in Yemen that was “totally Obama’s fault,” Trump decided T & A shouldn’t leave such a bad taste in America’s mouth. It was time to go after an easier target.
Our communicator-in-chief meant what he said at his campaign rally on Saturday in Melbourne, Florida. A terror “incident” in Sweden happened the day before. “Our Country is under serious threat, and now from a Swedish menace,” Trump confirmed. Sources inside T & A expect Trump to make a formal announcement at a future press conference or during his first State of the Union address if he’s still POTUS by then.
Trump has access to classified information to which the rest of us, including the media, do not. No, Trump was not confusing the Scandinavian Country with Sehwan, Pakistan where 85 people were killed, also on that Friday, in a suicide bombing at the Sufi Shrine. It strains credulity that Trump’s Wharton-educated highest-IQ-ever-in-the-Whitehouse brain (the one that insists its intelligence briefings be in pictures) could even make such a stupid, careless and obvious mistake. Questioned about a possible mix-up with the Pakistani city over the location of the terrorist incident, Trump said, “Hell no, shit like that happens all the time in Africa. I’m talking Sweden.” He also confirmed he was not confusing it with Snowden, another serious menace and threat to the United States, although he had to think about that one for a moment because Snowden had been mentioned on Fox News earlier that day.
The details of the Swedish incident are highly classified, meaning all related leaks could cause significant harm to American interests and military operatives in the region. The specific leak in question comes from an anonymous source close to Trump who has placed him/herself at serious risk of criminal prosecution. The fact of the leak is fake, but its content is as real as anything else that comes out of T & A.
Based on things Trump heard that some people out there have been saying and something he saw on the Internet and on Fox News, the protector-in-chief concluded that Sweden is now a threat to United States national security. On its face, the threat is from an unlikely source, but in context it makes perfect sense if you think about it until you can’t think anymore and concede the point. According to Trump the Swedish power company Vattenfall, owned by the Swedish government, is linked to both an unnamed radical Islamic terror group and Iran’s “nuclear proliferation program.” Trump gave little credence to the fact that official US intelligence sources were unable to confirm this and had no idea what Trump was talking about. As Trump frequently notes — in the third person, “the intelligence community’s incompetence in all areas of fact fabrication is not only mean-spirited and withholding but it puts Trump’s America at risk.” All to say, if the experts can’t deliver better facts, they should expect he will continue making up his own.
On his own Trump was able to narrow down the terror connection to one high-ranking Swedish government official who serves in Vattenfall’s upper management, Gustav Nils Svalander. Coincidentally, when Trump wore only one hat — the business one — he engaged Svalander in a dispute concerning an offshore wind farm Vattenfall was planning to build just off the coast in Aberdeen Bay, a couple of miles from Trump International Golf Links in Scotland. Trump complained the wind farm would be unsightly from Golf Links’ signature hole and set out to stop Vattenfall’s Aberdeen Bay development. According to Trump, his considerable business acumen and superior negotiating skills nearly destroyed Svalander’s career, despite the fact that the wind farm is currently under construction two miles from the Links. After the Russian Coup the POTUS-Elect unsuccessfully tried to persuade the Scottish government to nix the project. This photo comes from the Forbes Article linked below.
The implications are dire, according to Trump, because Vattenfall provides power on a massive, complex grid to countries throughout Europe including Denmark, Finland, Germany, the Netherlands, Poland, and the United Kingdom. As Trump describes it, Vattenfall, and therefore the Swedish government, has been infiltrated at its highest levels by a terrorist sympathizer. This traitor, according to Trump, has shared confidential proprietary details with Islamic terrorists and Iran, offering more details, and even nuclear bomb-making material, to the highest bidder.
A primary means of Vattenfall’s power generation is nuclear. Trump believes this sympathizer could gain access not just to urania, or Yellowcake, but to highly enriched fusible material such as Uranium-233. (As possessor of the nuclear codes, Trump had to learn those words, including their pronunciation.) Sources close to the story say Trump is highly critical of the Obama Administration’s failure to factor in Vattenfall’s potential connection to Iran when entering the “worst treaty ever negotiated in the history of negotiating treaties.”
According to Trump, over the past couple of decades US Administrations have been asleep at the switch, so to speak. Vattenfall successfully set out to acquire ownership of other power companies throughout the European Union thereby increasing its already considerable market share and picking off competitors. As a result, private enterprise had no negotiating power with the monopolizing Vattenfall, a nut not even the world’s best negotiator could crack.
Vattenfall recently announced its intention to abandon nuclear power generation and scale down its use of fossil fuels in favor of alternative sources because its European customers are taxing nuclear and fossil-fuel power out of existence. Vattenfall’s business plan includes billions to be and already invested in alternative renewable sources, primarily sea-based wind-mill turbines that are being placed in strategic locations in and around Vattenfall’s grid and the European countries it supplies electricity, such as Aberdeen Bay.
What exactly is the threat to America’s interests or national security? That part, apparently, is so classified my source couldn’t even speculate, in large part because the type of fusible material necessary for making bombs is not, in fact, a by-product of Vattenfall’s soon-to-be-shuttered nuclear power reactors and, anyway, Vattenfall obtains its nuclear fuel from extremely secure and regulated sources. But in the wrong hands the master-plan for Vattenfal’s power grid could be disastrous, even though it’s already available on the internet.
From the Situation Patio at Whitehouse South, Trump ordered Seal Team 6 to take out the Swedish terror threat in Gustav’s heavily-barricaded mansion during the middle of the night. The operation included three Navy Blackhawk stealth helicopters; Obama sent only two for the raid on Osama bin Laden which was “a total disaster” because one of the copters crashed. Without notifying the Swedish government, Trump ordered Seal Team 6 to depart Trump International Golf Links helipads, across the North Sea skirting Norway’s southern airspace, and northeast to Arenastaden in Solna, just north of Stockholm. My source confirms the operatives took out the threat, without incident other than dirtying the uniform of a Swedish Guard.
With photographic and DNA evidence Seal Team 6 confirmed it was Gustav.
The Chaffetz Embarrassement (CE) (Continued)
No one will catch CE in his quest to reign supreme as The Most Embarrassing Congressperson 435.
*My brother the fiction writer and novelist, Robert Hodgson Van Wagoner, deserves considerable credit for offering both substantive and technical suggestions to lastamendment.com
**My daughter Angela Moore, a professional photographer, photographed nearly 500 pieces of my father’s work. On behalf of the Van Wagoner Family Trust, she is in the process of compiling a collection of his art work. The photographs reproduced in lastamendment.com are hers.