UFC and Kid Rock Will Headline the Inaugural Event of The Donald J. Trump (Formerly Kennedy) Center for the Performing Arts*
“The perfect metaphor for his presidency.”
On Friday, FOTUS announced on Truth Social he “will fire Kennedy Center board members and name himself chairman”:
“At my direction, we are going to make the Kennedy Center in Washington D.C., GREAT AGAIN. I have decided to immediately terminate multiple individuals from the Board of Trustees, including the Chairman, who do not share our Vision for a Golden Age in Arts and Culture. We will soon announce a new Board, with an amazing Chairman, DONALD J. TRUMP!”
As explained in today’s Washington Post, “The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts is the country’s national cultural center, located in Washington, D.C. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed legislation to create the center in 1958, but its doors did not open until 1971.”
“In 1962, President John F. Kennedy and first lady Jacqueline Kennedy spearheaded the $30 million fundraising campaign for the center’s construction. Two months after Kennedy’s assassination in November 1963, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed into law legislation designating the center as a living memorial for his predecessor.
“In the years since, the Kennedy Center has hosted a wide range of performance art, from theater to dance to contemporary music, and served as the residence for the National Symphony Orchestra and the Washington National Opera.
“Every December, the Kennedy Center Honors are awarded for lifetime contributions to American culture. Past recipients include Ella Fitzgerald, Tennessee Williams, Leonard Bernstein, Frank Sinatra, Carole King, Billy Joel, the Grateful Dead, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Queen Latifah.
“The center receives up to 2 million visitors a year, according to its website.”
MAGAs eagerly anticipate the center’s name change from Kennedy to Trump along with the Tennessee legislature’s announced renaming the Nashville International Airport to Trump International Airport. A person from the F.A.A. who spoke on condition of anonymity because s/he was not authorized to comment, expressed concern over potential confusion in the F.A.A. and among airlines and passengers because Republicans in red states and Washington, D.C. plan to rename several airports across the country after Trump.
A spokesman for the F.A.A. downplayed concerns, saying, “now that Elon is in charge, the F.A.A. is a well-oiled machine. They are getting rid of all the midgets, cripples, crazies, deaf and blind, paralyzed, amputees, and the ret . . . low IQs. There won’t be any confusion, and you and your bags will arrive safely and at the right place. Even if there is a little confusion at the beginning, it will pale in comparison to having our great leader’s name and image on buildings, airports, $3 bills, and even Mount Rushmore as constant reminders of this country’s incredible fortune by having the greatest leader in the history of America if not the world at the helm — or in the cockpit, so to speak, flying the ship of state and keeping us all safe and sound.”
Consistent with FOTUS’s vision for the golden age in arts and culture, the White House announced the new chair’s inaugural event will headline an Ultimate Fighting Championship followed by Kid Rock who, it is expected, will begin his show with a literal bang, or a rapid series of bangs, by destroying a case of Bud Light with an AR-15.
UFC’s CEO Dana White, a longtime friend of FOTUS who, along with Hulk Hogan, helped set the desired mood at the Republican National Convention, expressed his deep appreciation to the president:
“Hosting a UFC event and Kid Rock performance at the newly named Donald J. Trump Center for the Performing Arts is the perfect metaphor for his presidency. After Biden totally turned the country into an emasculated, effeminate shell that our allies and enemies alike mocked and had zero respect for, we have someone, a man’s man, a real man, who is making America masculine again, a country to be feared and respected throughout the world.
“As I said when introducing President Trump at the Republican National Convention, which was the honor of a lifetime, I chose strength and security. I chose opportunity and prosperity. I chose real American leadership and a real American badass. And thank god a huge majority of true American patriots gave him a great mandate to carry out his vision for the country.”
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who recently took up martial arts and sported his newly-found masculinity on Joe Rogan’s podcast with a gold chain, an oversize T-shirt, and longer hair, was delighted with the Trump Center lineup. He’d already announced White’s appointment to Meta’s board of directors, welcoming him by saying, “I’ve admired him as an entrepreneur and his ability to build such a beloved brand,” and adding, “I expect the Trump Center is where Elon and I will get in the cage. ‘Two men enter. One man leaves.’ I told Elon any place any time, but the Donald J. Trump Center for the Performing Arts is the perfect place. Watch out, Elon. I’ve been lifting and training for a cage fight with you. Just say when.”
R.VanWagoner https://medium.com/@richardvanwagoner publishes. https://richardvanwagoner.medium.com/subscribe
**My brother the very talented fiction writer and novelist, Robert Hodgson Van Wagoner, deserves considerable credit for offering both substantive and technical suggestions to https://medium.com/@richardvanwagoner. Rob’s second novel is a beautifully written suspense drama that takes place in Utah, Wyoming, and Norway. This novel, The Contortionists, which Rob himself narrates for the audio version, is a psychological page-turner about a missing child in a predominantly Mormon community. I have read the novel and listened to the audio version twice. It is a literary masterpiece. The Contortionists is not, however, for the faint of heart.
This one is satire. The unfortunate thing is this could be real. Maybe it will be. Under Trump and the MAGAs, it’s become difficult to distinguish reality from satire, parody, and sarcasm.