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Uncle Vermin Died In A Shooting Accident At Church*
A Short Allegory
Bibles in one hand and guns in the other, Vermin and the wife, the kids and all the rest gathered at the church house for the celebration. Preacher Michael led the congregation in fervent prayer and rousing song — Onward Christian Soldiers, Marching As To War, With The Cross Of Jesus Going On Before, Christ The Royal Master, Leads The Armies On: Forward Into Battle Till The Fight Is Won! — to thank sweet Jesus for making it so the pregnant girls couldn’t get abortions anymore, at least not anywhere close to their town.
A few of their young ones were even starting to show.
Before the potluck picnic started out on the lawn, Preacher Michael invited everyone to join with him in glorifying the almighty protector by pointing their guns upward, to the heavens, and pulling the trigger on the count of three. God would be watching . . . and listening . . . heeding their calls . . . and would bless them for their love for life and shield them from the sacrilege of god’s vile enemies who, coincidentally, were their enemies too.
Everyone was lost in the excitement.
On the count of two, Vermin took one from behind to the bottom of his skull from little Evangeline, Angel for short, who was just learning how to shoot — and count. The 9-mm Luger kicked…